It took me many years to figure this out.
For the past 2 years, I have learnt to focus more on crafting stories with an intended message for the target audience while working on commercials. As a hired director with a client in mind, my job is more of an objective than a subjective one.
But recently I realised that the indie short films that I had done for the past 2 years, lacks of one important ingredient, that personal touch. I have forgotten how to tell the story through my own way. I have made a subconscious mistake of painting the story from the audience’s point of understanding it instead of showing them my genuine vision of it. I have failed as a filmmaker because of my insecurity and the worry that audience might not get it. I have forgotten to indulge in my emotions to tell the story the way I wanted it to be. Personally I feel self-indulgence is a very important skill that makes us unique.
I hope I can get back the confidence of being myself again so I can make films the way that only I can tell.